The Boehner of the Week

I learned this week that Boehner pronounces in "bayner". Perhaps in precolombian Algonquin or post-conquista Inca, the dipthong "oe" is pronounced "ay". In German, the more probable source of the name, the pronunciation, impossible to an English speaker as "th" is to a German speaker, is closer to "ew". It's a simulatneous pronunciation of "e" and "o", generally referred to as an umlaut and in German, indicated by two dots over the "o". I go to this great length for two reasons: First, Boehner, son of German immigrants, has no right to castigate the latest wave and second, I pronounce the Anglicization of the name "boner." Hence the award, the Boehner of the week.

This week it belongs to Porter Goss for quitting the CIA quicker than a duffer can improve his lie. Bush didn't even have time to spin it, Goss dropped his "heckuva job" moment on the Shrub so quickly. Since the past five years have proven to us that incompetence won't get you fired from the Bush administration, Goss must have done something to embarass the born-again bozo in the Oval Office. There's nothing to indicate an involvement on Goss's part in Hookergate but, as quickly as this has gone down, sex had to have been involved. Just look at what they did to Clinton. Sex is the one thing Republicans shy away from. That and that the night with anything but a crack skank from Foggy Bottom constitutes a gift greater than $50.00. Porter, you ran an organization whose nominal job is to extract facts from people and events and spin them to the President's liking. You should have known there were other organizations collecting facts and that you were a target. For your twenty months of incompetent leadership of what should be a fact-finding organization, you definitely have earned the Boehner of the Week. Perhaps the award should be a cigarette wrapped in a Depends, one for the leaks, the other for after. Doubt you're getting any more free hookers any time soon.

So Bush has turned the same amazing powers that granted him a murky look into Vladimir Putin's soul on Angela Merkel of Germany. I hope the relationship with Germany, a country I've lived in and love, don't go the same way as our relationship with Russia.

While biking today it occured to me that the number of illegal immigrants in this country is estimated at around 12 million. There are 289 million legal residents of the country. That means there are about 25 of us for every one of them. And they call this a reconquista? How are one to twenty-five dangerous odds? And if they are dangerous odds, we seriously need to look at whether our culture needs to survive. For one to twenty-five to be dangerous, we'd have to be teetering on the brink anyway. Of course, there are some factors in our culture that need changing, our "buy now, pay later" lifestyle, for one. Immigrants are not and never have been a threat to our culture, no matter how many minutemen and Republican xenophobes scream it.